How to Get Over Kim Kardashian

Statistics say that 83% of all men have had a sexual fantasy with Kim Kardashian. Okay, well, I don’t know about that, it was Barney Stinson-esque, but I sure have obsessed over her especially after torrenting her “leaked” sex tape with that dude with an inappropriately large dong. Ask my friend Lucian, he had to make an intervention for me for the sake of my right wrist (that also serves as my Counter-strike hand and my game was dragging).

My old roommate the Dude once taught me that the best way of getting over a chick is to picture her taking a dump. For the first time in my life that didn’t work with Kim Kardashian. So I stormed the ins and outs of the web to come up with a collection of pictures that would justify the other 17% of world’s men that say she’s fat and ugly. I have to say it worked a bit.

Kim Kardashian is most likely the reason people invented the expression dat ass. But what about her ass in these pics?

While I agree that the hourglass body is not a bad look on ladies, this is a bit too much, don’t you think?

Laws of gravity affect large masses more than lighter ones, right?

Perhaps a bad choice of jeans? They’d look better on Scarlett Johansson.

Alright, so it wasn’t the jeans, it was the mass again…

The infamous Complex magazine un-photoshopped release. “What curvy girl doesn’t have a little cellulite?” is what Kim Kardashian had to say about this

Thigh apocalypse. A little cellulite hardly describes it.

“Rumor” has it that Kim Kardashian is not really what you’d call a “natural beauty”. In fact, any pic of her without make up or tons of airbrushing sustains that argument as valid.

A couple of pimples there, a couple there…

The whole chin area is has like this acid damage or something similar.

Hey girl, keep that face straight. And wear make up. What are we, Amish ?

Someone needs to fix the ozone layer. The sun’s burning like a crazy mofo.

In before botox.